![]() ![]() Who will come out on top at the end of this four-hour-long cinematic masterwork? Only time, and the purchasing habits of the people of Japan, will tell. From the shadows of the city's seemingly endless alleyways emerge the six gangs who fight weekly for the unspoken control of Salesbury: the powerful reigning champs known as the "Park Street Pistols", the young and lively contenders known simply as "The Wii-vils", the once invincible "DoorStep Lighteners", the mercenaries of "The Third Order of Private Soldiers", their once-parent organization "The Second Order of Private Soldiers", and the mysterious, poorly-funded outfit known as "The Xterminators of 360th Street". The town's many residents realize with a start that Sunday's midnight hour has come, and quickly retreat into their bullet-riddled homesteads. The still night air wafting over the Hardware district of the bustling metropolis of Salesbury, Japan, is punctuated with the crackle of gunfire. We won't forget you when we make it to the big time. We're pretty proud of it, and the agent we hired at a local flea market is convinced we can eventually squeeze a trilogy out of the initial concept. ![]() ![]() ![]() With all the recent buzz surrounding big-budget film adaptations of major video game licenses, we began to wonder - if films based off of games can find funding with movie production companies, why couldn't a film based off of a video game news column? As our minds began to race with thoughts of cross-promotional T-shirts and licensed cereals, we recklessly ran to our laptops, and wrote out a hasty plot synopsis for "Japanese Hardware Sales: The Movie". ![]()
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